Letters From a Therapist - Reflection Five

Healing Isn’t Aesthetic. It’s messy, brave and unfolding.

We see it everywhere, the candles, the journals, the soft pink quotes that say “just let it go.”

While there’s nothing wrong with rituals or inspiration, I want to gently offer this:

Healing is not always beautiful

It’s not tidy. It’s not something you can capture in a perfectly lit photo and it’s definitely not something you perform.

The Problem with Performative Healing

The self-help world is booming and so are the pressures that come with it.

It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that healing has to look a certain way:

• Meditating every morning

• Always speaking with love

• Saying the “right” things online

• Never having a setback

  
  

But real healing?

It’s snot-crying at 2am.

It’s saying the hard truth that shakes your voice.

It’s cancelling plans because your nervous system says no.

It’s relapsing into old patterns and learning to forgive self again.

When we try to package healing into something presentable, we unintentionally create shame for people in the thick of it.

Reclaiming the Mess

Healing is not a straight line. It’s layered. It’s clumsy.

It unfolds in cycles, not steps.

There are days when you’ll feel like you’re moving backwards. There are days when nothing makes sense. There are days when your only victory is breathing and that counts. You don’t need to look healed to be healing. You don’t need to be graceful to be growing. You don’t need to be “together” to be doing the work.

A Gentle Reminder

If your healing doesn’t look like what you see online, that’s okay.

Your healing is not content. It’s sacred. It’s yours.

It gets to be messy, nonlinear, imperfect and still valid.

So if you’re in the middle of it right now, stumbling, questioning, unravelling

I see you and I honour the quiet, courageous work you’re doing.

If something in this letter stirred something in you a question, a thought, a quiet wondering, I’d love to hear it. I’m opening up space to answer your questions in upcoming videos, where I’ll explore the things we often don’t say out loud.

You’re welcome to share anonymously. No question is too small, too messy, or too complex. Sometimes, the things we’re afraid to ask are the ones that hold the most truth.

You can submit your question

https://form.jotform.com/Williams_Paula_contact/honest-questions

With clarity & heart,

Paula, Your Heart Therapist